Bridging Difficulties Between People in Organizations: Applying An Appreciative View, Emotional Awareness, and The Speech Acts

Coach’s Notes: The following three clusters of questions can be adapted and used with leaders who are having difficulty working together. It works for top leaders in leadership teams and between supervisors and direct reports. It begins with an appreciative focus at the organizational, team, and individual levels, and moves into the emotional domain, and finally employs speech acts. By beginning with appreciations, a positive focus helps create safety, displays respect, and helps relax the participants. It provides openings in awareness and emotions that are often surprising and unifying.

The next level of questions goes into the emotional domain and specifically explores fears, anger, and sadness. By spending time at the emotional level, the participants can express and hear deeper parts of their experience, generating empathy and connection. Concluding with speech acts, each person moves forward in a deliberate and authentic fashion, diminishing the gap with the other, perhaps experiencing a healing in the relationship, and a confidence that this construct can be drawn from in the future to handle breakdowns.

• What do you appreciate about being a member of your organization?
• What do you appreciate about being a member of your unit / team / department?
• What do you appreciate about working with your supervisor / direct report/ peer?
• What fears do you have about working in this organization, in this team, with your supervisor/direct report?
• What anger do you have about what’s going on in your organization, in this department, with your team, with your supervisor/direct report?
• What sadness do you have about your experiences in the organization, with your….?
• What declarations would you like to make to your supervisor/direct report?
• What requests would you like to make of your supervisor/direct report?
• What offers would you like to make?
• What inquiries would you like to make?
• What promises or agreements would you like to make?